My Morning Routine

Have you ever seen an article with a headline like this: “These 5 Billionaires All Have This In Common”

Or this: “The Richest People In The World Share This Shocking Habit!”

Talk about click bait.

I’ll save you the trouble. They’re talking about morning routines.

I’ve done a lot of research about this. You see. I fucking hate mornings. HATE THEM. My husband tells me I’m a demon in the morning. I think he’s the actual demon since no one just wakes up in the morning all ready to converse and shit.


Mornings are garbage and I will fight anyone who tells me otherwise. I will take out my earrings and pull a GD pony.


So, I love those stupid click bait articles because I want them to fix me. I want something to click in my brain so that I magically love mornings and wake up humming a jaunty tune and ready to run like three miles and conquer the mountains or whatever.

I’ve read 5 AM Miracle and all sorts of self-help books on this topic. I want to be a morning person. I just can’t seem to make it happen.

Here’s my current routine morning routine:

  • Alarm goes off at 5:50am
  • I hit snooze once
  • Alarm goes off again at 6am and I force myself out of bed
  • Dogs go out, dogs eat, dogs get pills, I caffeinate
  • By 6:15 I’m in the shower
  • 5 min to shower
  • 5 min to diffuse and curl hair
  • 5 min make-up
  • Dressed
  • Out the door by 6:35

It’s pretty tight. I try to get into the office by 7:15 and I usually work until 3:45 or so.

I really could use an extra 20 minutes in the morning but I can’t seem to make myself get up even those few minutes earlier. The 5:50 alarm is my attempt at just giving myself a few extra minutes in the morning but it doesn’t work out.

My husbands start time is set in stone – he needs to be in the office by 7am – but mine is flexible. So he’s in the shower by 6 or he’ll be late for work. Which means I either get up a few minutes earlier to beat him to the shower or I wait until he’s done.

At different times in my life I’ve wanted to try to work out before work, walk the dogs before work, spend time writing before work, cook a healthy breakfast every day blah blah blah.

None of it ever works out.

But I keep trying. And I’m going to try again.

I’ll start small – just trying to get up at 5:50 when that alarm goes off the first time. Eventually I’ll be able to do it.

Other ideas I have to make my morning routine a little easier are to adjust my work schedule. Maybe if I have more time in the morning and I start work at 8am instead I will have more time to fit in the things I want to fit in.

Or… I’ll just be sleep an extra hour each morning and be back to where I started. It could go either way.

Tell me about your morning routine! Do you do morning yoga with the sunrise? Do you have a special ritual that is all about you in the morning? Do you scramble up some eggs every single day? I want to hear about it!


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7 Responses

  1. Andrea says:

    I’m kind of like you. A demon when I’m woken up. One alarm set at 6:05 and the next set at 6:55, because I wake up HARD and the first alarm is enough that I don’t hate waking up at 6:55. Although I lay in bed another ten minutes, Redditing.
    Then in make my coffee, give cat medicine, brush teeth, little hair spray and I’m off by 7:45.

    I’ve done the earlier mornings, where I had to be at work early or the brief stint where I was working out in the morning. But with a flexible start time, I take all the slack I can. I’m lazy like that!

    Getting to bed earlier doesn’t work for me, because I play on my phone until my normal time. Maybe if I did a no screen thing… Eh. Waking up early is for the birds!

    • Basic Bitch says:

      Oh see, I’ll go to bed early easy. I LOVE SLEEP. No joke, on the weekends the only reason I wake up at a reasonable time is because I have a puppy who needs to go out. My old dog will gladly sleep for as long as I want.

      I will admit that I fall asleep easier when I read on my e-ink screen then when I read on my color tablet. So there’s probably something to that screen thing. Science!

  2. Beth says:

    I’m absolutely like your hubby in the mornings most days. I’ve found that I’m usually far more productive in the morning than I am in the evenings after work. I work 7ish til 3:30. Some days I contemplate starting work later to take advantage of time at home, but I also greatly enjoy being out at 3:30 so I can hit the gym and do whatever else I need to do!

    – Alarm goes off at 5 or 5:30 (5 if I need to blow dry my hair), no snooze
    – Shower, hair, make up, get dressed
    – Feed cats, make/pack lunches, sometimes scramble a pan of eggs for the week if I have a few extra minutes
    – Out the door around 6:30 to get to work between 7 and 7:15.

    • Basic Bitch says:

      You give yourself an hour to an hour and a half before you have to leave for work? Wow! That’s a lot of time in the morning. My dogs would be up and running around disrupting the hubs if I did that. But that’s a good amount of time in the morning. I should try that.

  3. Amazing post! I almost spit up my coffee at “Pull a GD pony” –
    My morning routine (I am self imployed and typically work VERY late into the night)
    – Unless it’s a filming day, I don’t set alarms – wake up…. roughly between 9am – 10am
    – Get dressed and invite all the cats currently wondering why I am bothering to get up downstairs for breakfast
    – Pour cat food for the cats / brush teeth
    – Make my morning protein shake (1 atkins vanilla shake, 1 insert cup of Peanut butter powder, 1 insert cup of protein)
    – Listen to Flash Briefing NPR News
    – Finish drink while catching up on Reddit News
    – Shuffle down stairs to start working

    • Basic Bitch says:

      So I was reading about folks who telecommute and one of the tips I’ve seen a lot is that you should “commute” to your work. Some people say they go outside and walk aroudn teh block and that’s their “commute” and it sets them up for the mindset of “going to work.”

      When I telecommute I just roll out of bed, pour a cup of coffee and start working. There’s alseep and there is working. Ha.

  1. March 26, 2018

    […] couple weeks ago I wrote about my morning routine and how it was… let’s just say […]

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